One of the most rewarding aspects of my job is the very reason why I have a job, the customers. The folks that walk through our door are as varied as the many different ways one can make a coffee, each one comes complete with their own personality and story. Every day I leave work with more than enough material to blog for months hence the lack of blogging about work, there’s just too much material.
As rewarding as the customers are they can also be the biggest pain in the ass. Some folks are like The Borg as they try their very best to assimilate you into their lives based on a relationship that they have built in their head. Honestly, how deep is a relationship when your only interaction is an exchange of money for yummy. Still for some folks that 15 second connection is enough for them to build a long lasting “friendship” as they bounce beyond any rational person’s boundary, answering unasked questions and giving way too much detail about their day to day life.
With that being said it’s still an amazing journey through life that can be trying but for the most part is fascinating. I know stuff about folks that: a) I didn’t ask any questions that warranted the info, b) I didn’t want to know in the first place and c) without pictures I have no proof 
The most trying part of my day is keeping my smart ass-ed answers inside my head and away from my lips as people can and do ask the dumbest questions. Yes, I am just as guilty as the next person but hearing them as often as I do they now become fodder for blogging. Here are my top 5 “what I’d rather say” replies.
#1 – “how big is the small” what I’d rather say – dunno, how jumbo is a shrimp
what I generally say – it’s really only a sample size and most people prefer the medium
#2 – while staring at an empty basket “do you have any more carrot muffins” preferred reply – yes I still have all of them but none for you today, you too fat, you go on diet (complete with Chinese food owner’s accent)
what I generally say – sadly they are our most popular muffin and sell out pretty early
#3 – while looking at the muffin case “what kind of muffins do you have” preferred reply – hey, you’re standing right there, how ’bout you tell me for a change
what I generally say -well let’s just have a look see at what we have left
#4 – “are any of your donuts low fat” preferred reply – you betcha Buffy, that’s what all donuts are low fat, uh huh, no one ever got fat eating a donut, yeesh
what I generally say – wish it were so but sadly no
#5 – “I saw a girl who looks just like you yesterday at the bank, do you have a sister” no “do you have a twin sister then” preferred reply – no I don’t have a sister but I do have a twin, we’re just not related!
what I generally say – could have been me or it could have been my body double.
I’ll keep working on the last one to soften it up a bit because I fear my preferred reply is closer to getting out each and every time I hear that question.
