I am not big on New Years resolution, I’m not really big on resolutions in general but I particularly don’t get why people wait for 12:01 a.m. January 1st to begin or end something. I much prefer to warm up to an initiative and slowly slide into it, hence it’s now January 3rd and so it begins. This is my list of 10 things that I will try harder to do or not to do hopefully I can reach my goals by this time next year.

1. Have more courage in my work place. I am going to begin training for Assistant Manager and I need to have courage that this is for me. I know I can do the job but I lack the courage to believe I can do it, that’s sounds messed up.

2. Worry less about rebuilding bridges and mending fences. Some bridges really need to be knocked down to make room for new ones and some fences need to simply be torn down. Big hurdle for me as I try to discern what to build and what to let go of.

3. Get into shape. Yes thin or light as I prefer, may very well be a shape but it’s not necessarily a nice shape. I’m hoping to drop about 10 lbs of “softness” particulaily the stuff that sits around my belly button keeping it warm.

4. Take opportunities when they arise. I recently had an opportunity to come along side of a friend recently to help carry their burden but I didn’t realize it until I had left my parking spot at work. That one still stings as they could have used a friend and out the door I went.

5. Stop wondering what the attraction to me is. I think I’m reasonably like able and it doesn’t really matter why, does it?

6. Become less enraged when the weather keeps me from work. I spent almost every morning last year at my last job praying for obscene amounts of snow so I wouldn’t have to go to work. We’ve had 2 snowstorms this year and I flew into a rage because I couldn’t get into work. That is new for me and obviously needs work.

7. Learn to discern when I am my brother’s keeper both figuratively and literally.

8. Take the time to smell the roses more often.I have found that I haven’t done that much lately and I think I’m shutting down somehow.

9. Put myself out there more often. I tend to talk myself out of doing the things that mean a lot to other people either because I just don’t want to be bothered or because I don’t want to be a bother. Be prepared to be “bothered” more often which may include hugs.

10. Take over the world 2 people at a time instead of one, starting with myself.

On any given day, come the cold weather you can find him sleeping, on the floor, of a building entrance way. When the weather is warmer he sleeps in the gazebo at the park or somewhere outdoors, out of the way of onlookers, gawkers and the cruelest of people who live among us.

He is a slight man in stature, very polite, quiet spoken but his very presence causes people to look away, cross the street and some are so rude as to spit on him. He has no mailing address, no dresser full of clothes, no fridge filled with food or even a washroom that he can call his own.

Several times I have caught him in the dumpster  grabbing whatever we have thrown out, food that is still fit for human consumption but not fit for all save but the dumpster divers. He pees in the alley ways of buildings or in the few public washrooms that still allow him in. Never have I seen him leave a mess in the washroom as he always tidies up after himself and yet several places no longer allow him access to a basic human necessity.

I have bought him food and spent time talking with him simply because he is, a human being. He has a story, he had a life that I’m sure looked nothing like the one he presently has. Although I find it incredibly hard to believe that he comes from several generations of single child families, he has told me that he has no family, I can’t help but wonder why he is where he is. Alone, living on the street and seemingly unwanted by almost everyone he encounters. His only claim to fame is his aroma. No one knows where he came from, how he came to be out on the street or why he chooses to stay there.

To the mass public he is a shadow man, someone best gone unseen, yet everyone downtown knows exactly who he is but no one actually knows him. I know only his name, his claim of having no family and I wonder if there is someone who right now is wondering where he is, worried about how he is doing, wishing he’d come home.

My hope is that one day I will earn his trust enough to betray him and let someone who still cares about him know that he is still here, slipping through the streets of downtown, alive.

When you come across someone who lives on the street don’t ask yourself “why would someone live like that” rather ask yourself “what can I do to help”. Not every hand that stretches out is looking for money to feed a habit, some of them are simply reaching out to affirm that they still are part of the human race. Worthy of everything that we, who live indoors, declare that we are entitled to.

We are nearing the “Holiday Season” and I find myself getting frustrated by the whole falicy of the season. People seem to pull out all the stops to be a bit kinder to one another, there is an abundance (outside of the shopping malls) of patience and the “entitled” scramble to bestow all the Christmas trimmings on a “deserving family”. Pity Christmas, well commercialized Christmas, comes but once a year as the shadow people get pushed back into the dark corners for the remainding 11 months of the year.

Until they change Christmas to Gift-mas I will continue to rant for patience, kindness and equality for the other 11 months. To Rick aka “stinky” I pray this is the Christmas that you are welcomed back into the world that has to date shunned you not because it’s the right thing to do given the season but rather because you are one of us, a human being.

To some I am 52, to others 42

I am exactly one year older, one year wiser

One year more jaded, one year more surprised

I am less rushed, more aware of time

I am 365 times more deeply blessed

365 more deeply scarred

I am astonished to be one year farther from my birth

Saddened to be one year closer to the end

365 more battles engaged

Some I won, some I lost and some are still ongoing

I have seen where I have been

Glimpsed where I will be

All of it a celebration

Of 17,155 days

And still counting

This was an actual exam for 8th grade students in the year 1895. No wonder no one went back for grade 9.

Grammar ! (Time, one hour)
1. Give nine rules for the use of capital letters.
2. Name the parts of speech and define those that have no modifications.
3. Define verse, stanza and paragraph
4. What are the principal parts of a verb? Give principal parts of”lie,”"play,” and “run.”
5. Define case; Illustrate each case.
6 What is punctuation? Give rules for principal marks of punctuation.
7 – 10. Write a composition of about 150 words and show therein that you understand the practical use of the rules of grammar.

Arithmetic (Time, 1:25 hours)
1. Name and define the Fundamental Rules of Arithmetic.
2. A wagon box is 2 ft. deep, 10! feet long, and 3 ft! . wide. How many bushels of wheat will it hold?
3. If a load of wheat weighs 3942 lbs., what is it worth at 50cts/bushel, deducting 1050 lbs. for tare?
4 District No 33 has a valuation of $35,000. What is the necessary levy to carry on a school seven months at $50 per month, and have $104 for incidentals?
5. Find the cost of 6720 lbs. coal at $6.00 per ton.
6. Find the interest of $512.60 for 8 months and 18 days at 7 percent.
7. What is the cost of 40 boards 12 inches wide and 16 ft. long at $20 per metre?
8. Find bank discount on $300 for 90 days (no grace) at 10 percent.
9. What is the cost of a square farm at $15 per acre, the distance of which is 640 rods?
10. Write a Bank Check, a! Promissory Note, and a Receipt

U.S. History (Time, 45 minutes)
1. Give the epochs into which U.S. History is divided
2. Give an account of the discovery of America by Columbus.
3. Relate the causes and results of the Revolutionary War.
4. Show the territorial growth of the United States.
5. Tell what you can of the history of Kansas.
6. Describe three of the most prominent battles of the Rebellion.
7. Who were the following: Morse, Whitney, Fulton, Bell, Lincoln, Penn, and Howe?
8. Name events connected with the following dates: 1607, 1620, 1800, 1849, 1865.

Orthography (Time, one hour) I don’t even know what this is                                                                             1. What is meant by the following: Alphabet, phonetic, orthography, etymology, syllabication
2. What are elementary sounds? How classified?
3. What are the following, and give examples of! each: Trigraph, subvocals, ! diphthong, cognate letters, linguals
4. Give four substitutes for c aret ‘u.’ (HUH?)
5. Give two rules for spelling words with final  ‘e.’  Name two exceptions under each rule.
6. Give two uses of silent letters in spelling. Illustrate each.
7. Define the following prefixes and use in connection with a word: bi, dis, mis, pre, semi, post, non, inter, mono, sup.
8. Mark diacritically and divide into syllables the following, and name the sign that indicates the sound: card, ball, mercy, sir, odd, cell, rise, blood, fare, last.
9. Use the following correctly in sentences: cite, site, sight, fane, fain, feign, vane, vain, vein, raze, raise, rays.
10. Write 10 words frequently mispronounced and indicate pronunciation by use of diacritical marks and by syllabication.

Geography (Time, one hour)
1 What is climate? Upon what does climate depend?
2. How do you account for the extremes of climate in Kansas?
3 Of what use are rivers? Of what use is the ocean?
4. Describe the mountains of North America
5. Name and describe the following: Monrovia, Odessa, Denver, Manitoba, Hecla, Yukon, St. Helena, Juan Fernandez, Aspinwall and Orinoco.
6. Name and locate the principal trade centers of the U.S.
7. Name all the republics of Europe and give the capital of each.
8. Why is the Atlantic Coast colder than the Pacific in the same latitude?
9. Describe the process by which the water of the ocean returns to the sources of rivers.
10. Describe the movements of the earth. Give the inclination of the earth.

Notice that the exam took FIVE HOURS to complete. Gives the saying “only had an 8th grade education” a whole new meaning, doesn’t it?!

So as I wrapped up my second week at my own shop I actually took a few minutes to live in the moments that had made up my stint there. I learned to accept the compliments that people gave me when they told me how pleased they were to have me back. It was fantastic to reconnect with folks that I had begun to develop a relationship with and it was awesome to be able to do it all without the watchful eye of “mother” waiting to slap me back to conformity. Aside from one singularly crabby person who only growled once people seemed genuinely pleased to have me back and I was really enjoying their positive feedback.

Well I was for the first week anyway then it started to wear a little thin, then it began to wear out completely. It wasn’t that I didn’t appreciate people’s comments about me, it was the comments that always followed the question “when is SHE back”? Each time someone asked me that question their demeanor was not one of anticipation and almost everyone followed the question with their own personal observation of my boss. None of it was positive and I honestly did try my best to defend her by pointing out that this is a very demanding job for only one person and that it can be stressful at times. All that got me was curious looks as people pointed out that I was the only one there and seemed to be doing just fine and aside from a bad case of hiccups I didn’t look stressed.

I suspect I will receive another phone call on Monday morning from our head office wanting to know what my sales were for the week before. For some strange reason they can’t seem to be able to wait for the paper work I mailed out on Friday to arrive which I have begun to find a wee bit irritating. For the past two weeks my sales have been roughly $120 above our average for the same time frame last year and the year before and my tips have gone from $3.50ish a day to over $15 each day. I’m not so slow that I can’t connect the dots between my return and increased sales. Sadly and shamefully I honed my customer service skills on tourists at one of PEI’s premiere hotels. I say shamefully because it takes the skill of manipulation to get people to part with their money.

If you present the right image to someone like, they’re the most important person on planet Earth you will probably receive a nice tip in return, hmmm that leans really hard against the line of lying/manipulation. If you refuse to interact with customers you will get a tip matching your interaction, like none. Be rude to customers and watch your sales tank. I have explained this little nugget of economical truth to my boss and she had begun to make changes towards customers before they let me go in the Spring.

These past two weeks have been amazing for me in terms of having my ego stroked but I find the comments/names regarding my boss to be somewhat cruel. My rule is “don’t say anything about someone that you won’t say to them”. Perhaps people are just trying to provide me with a scale at which they have measured my customer service skills or maybe they honestly are happy to have me back but I don’t appreciate the negative comments about my boss. They may very well be true but again I go back to my rule. These past two weeks have been a bitter blessing as I am appreciated for who I am but at the expense of who my boss is not.

Maybe next week sales will return to normal, my tips will shrivel away to nothingness and life at the cafeteria will return to normal as my stay is extended for another week. Or maybe just maybe, they will hire me back, or fire me for good. Stay tuned and I’ll let you know.