Last night was night number 4 that He has come to me in my sleep. Not in the form of a vision or a dream but more like an alarm clock, waking me up. Usually it’s to pray and within an hour I’m back asleep no worse for the wear but last night was different and I have no clue what to do with it.

Most nights when He wakes me I wake up and a prayer has already begun so I continue with the prayer, wait and listen to see if there’s more He wants and quietly drift back asleep. Most nights. When I finally get to meet Him I have 4 questions for Him and although everyone keeps telling me that my questions will be irrelevant upon meeting Him I have them just the same.

One of the questions is, “why do you completely wake me up if I’m already praying when I wake up?” Having Him wake me up is not bothersome just perplexing.

With the exception of last night, I have been praying for something that is not yet to become something that will be. Hope that’s clear as soup for y’all. Last night however, was very different and my world is spinning faster than I can run adding to an already elevated level of fatigue. Last night He didn’t wake me to pray for someone/something, last night He woke me for no apparent reason, well it was not apparent for 45 minutes, so I lay there waiting, listening all the while thinking I had gone deaf.

Nope, nothing for 45 minutes, no whispers, no prayer requests, not even a chance to nod off. Last night He chose to whisper to me the things that I needed to hear not from condemnation but rather to encourage me. For almost 20 minutes He whispered love stories to me, sharing with me His vision of how He sees me.

Funny thing about human nature is we easily accept criticism and take it in stride but encouragement is something that makes us uncomfortable. Twenty minutes of being told how much and why He loves me has left me in a puddle of my own tears in which I fear I will drown. Maybe someone will say something inappropriate or cruel today bringing my world back into balance because I feel absolutely naked right now and have no clue where my clothes are.

Cue the video:

I’m laying in the boat dramatically draped over the seat, my feet barely skimming the surface, my tanned, well toned body glistening in the midday sun as I slowly drift across Lake Marie Louise. The sky is a stunning blue and the wind blows me along with it’s soft warm breath. Somewhere in the distance a loon cries out to it’s mate who is paddling along beside me. The ambient temperature is in the high 20s and the humidity is low, the day is perfect.

Suddenly the phone rings………..what the……….why is there a phone in the middle of the lake?

Cue reality:

You have got to be kidding me, it’s 5 after 6 in the morning, but I was dreaming, where is that demonic phone, who is dumb enough to call this freaking early?

Sadly my first full day of work has been cancelled, it’s a snow day, sigh!

I believe that sometimes you have to look reality in the eye and deny it.–Garrison Keillor–