I haven’t been here in a long time and it all comes down to one of many things, a lack there of….

A lack of uninterrupted time, a lack of focus, a lack of creativity, a lack of discipline, a lack of good light hearted material, a lack of energy, a lack of desire. I have had a ton of material to work with over the past 2 and a half months but every time I fire up my laptop something else needs my attention, right that minute. Then when I return I lose my focus and all that I wanted to blog about becomes disconnected and I can’t put more than 10 words together. That stumps my ability to be creative as I scramble to try to put the whole flow of thoughts back into sequence. Discipline has NEVER been my strong point, flighty thoughts reign supreme. Some days I get home too worn out and tired to remember breath, blink, breath, blink, swallow, cook dinner, breath again etc. I’ve been stuck in a rut of receiving, processing and planning that all needs to be done as quickly as possible or at least that’s the speed I’ve told myself it needs to be done in. All of that just chews away at my desire to fill a blank page with anything that looks remotely unlike rage even though I’m not angry, just creatively frustrated.

I forced myself today to just sit and stare at a blank page and wait for my mind to slow down and rearrange where my thoughts were taking me to. Not perhaps the most effective way to jump start a writing slump but a start is a start just the same.

I could drag you through the whole list of a lack there of and how it came to be but I think it would be better to start from somewhere different, for now. I may revisit the steps that led to here in a blog but for now I’m just happy to finally be able to fill a blank screen, no matter how uninformative it is.

If you’ve checked back here in the last few months, thank you.