I see your double in strangers on the street

And my mind cues up the threadbare audio tape of your voice

Reluctantly I play it knowing that one day it may break and your sound will be gone for ever

 

I watch a look alike and remember, revelling in that fleeting moment

Before it fades like a vapour trail only solid for a moment

Until a wind gently blows it away

 

Time has come and time has gone but your time has stood still

And I wonder, is there more , for me, for all of us

Or are we all waiting for a day that has already been

 

My memories are fading to gray as the need for an embrace grows deeper

One of the most rewarding aspects of my job is the very reason why I have a job, the customers. The folks that walk through our door are as varied as the many different ways one can make a coffee, each one comes complete with their own personality and story. Every day I leave work with more than enough material to blog for months hence the lack of blogging about work, there’s just too much material.

As rewarding as the customers are they can also be the biggest pain in the ass. Some folks are like The Borg as they try their very best to assimilate you into their lives based on a relationship that they have built in their head. Honestly, how deep is a relationship when your only interaction is an exchange of money for yummy. Still for some folks that 15 second connection is enough for them to build a long lasting “friendship” as they bounce beyond any rational person’s boundary, answering unasked questions and giving way too much detail about their day to day life.

With that being said it’s still an amazing journey through life that can be trying but for the most part is fascinating. I know stuff about folks that: a) I didn’t ask any questions that warranted the info, b) I  didn’t want to know in the first place and c) without pictures I have no proof The most trying part of my day is keeping my smart ass-ed answers inside my head and away from my lips as people can and do ask the dumbest questions. Yes, I am just as guilty as the next person but hearing them as often as I do they now become fodder for blogging. Here are my top 5 “what I’d rather say” replies.

#1 – “how big is the small”            what I’d rather say – dunno, how jumbo is a shrimp

what I generally say – it’s really only a sample size and most people prefer the medium

#2 – while staring at an empty basket “do you have any more carrot muffins”     preferred reply – yes I still have all of them but none for you today, you too fat, you go on diet (complete with Chinese food owner’s accent)

what I generally say – sadly they are our most popular muffin and sell out pretty early

#3 – while looking at the muffin case “what kind of muffins do you have”     preferred reply – hey, you’re standing right there, how ’bout you tell me for a change

what I generally say -well let’s just have a look see at what we have left

#4 – “are any of your donuts low fat”     preferred reply – you betcha Buffy, that’s what all donuts are low fat, uh huh, no one ever got fat eating a donut, yeesh

what I generally say – wish it were so but sadly no

#5 – “I saw a girl who looks just like you yesterday at the bank, do you have a sister”  no  “do you have a twin sister then”      preferred reply – no I don’t have a sister but I do have a twin, we’re just not related!

what I generally say – could have been me or it could have been my body double.

I’ll keep working on the last one to soften it up a bit because I fear my preferred reply is closer to getting out each and every time I hear that question.

 

 

 

 

I haven’t been here in a long time and it all comes down to one of many things, a lack there of….

A lack of uninterrupted time, a lack of focus, a lack of creativity, a lack of discipline, a lack of good light hearted material, a lack of energy, a lack of desire. I have had a ton of material to work with over the past 2 and a half months but every time I fire up my laptop something else needs my attention, right that minute. Then when I return I lose my focus and all that I wanted to blog about becomes disconnected and I can’t put more than 10 words together. That stumps my ability to be creative as I scramble to try to put the whole flow of thoughts back into sequence. Discipline has NEVER been my strong point, flighty thoughts reign supreme. Some days I get home too worn out and tired to remember breath, blink, breath, blink, swallow, cook dinner, breath again etc. I’ve been stuck in a rut of receiving, processing and planning that all needs to be done as quickly as possible or at least that’s the speed I’ve told myself it needs to be done in. All of that just chews away at my desire to fill a blank page with anything that looks remotely unlike rage even though I’m not angry, just creatively frustrated.

I forced myself today to just sit and stare at a blank page and wait for my mind to slow down and rearrange where my thoughts were taking me to. Not perhaps the most effective way to jump start a writing slump but a start is a start just the same.

I could drag you through the whole list of a lack there of and how it came to be but I think it would be better to start from somewhere different, for now. I may revisit the steps that led to here in a blog but for now I’m just happy to finally be able to fill a blank screen, no matter how uninformative it is.

If you’ve checked back here in the last few months, thank you.